All posts by stephanielorabearce

Top 5 Fast AF Ways to Break Up With Anxiety

Anxiety is a BITCH. Especially when it pops up at the most inopportune times (middle of the night, at work, making midnight cupcakes for your kid’s bake sale, in the middle of a biz launch…you know) *GAG*

While I love and specialize in teaching & leading my clients through how to heal, take control & overcome their anxiety for GOOD – sometimes we just need to know how to get the fuck through it in the moment!

*I don’t have TIME for deep healing work right now Susan – my boss is up my ass and it’s still 5 hours before I get to leave this friggin’ place!*

Heard, girl, heard.

So let’s talk about how to break up with anxiety when you need it in the moment, right now! Here’s my Top 5…

1. BREATHE

You may be looking at me thinking “Seriously? Do you know how being human works…do you think I’m NOT breathing!?” Of course you are! But HOW you’re breathing is probably triggering the fuck out of your anxiety.

When we get stressed or anxious, we start to restrict our breath (breathe shorter/shallower). This then sends a message to the body to react the perceived danger (because our body doesn’t know the difference between stress out of mortal peril and stress over exhaustion, overwhelm, & midnight cupcakes) and starts producing stress hormones which flood the body. This sets of a chain reaction and escalates us without our conscious awareness.

Deliberately slowing your breathing sends the opposite trigger to your body and will stop that chemical process from happening, giving you control faster! Five deep breaths (or as many as you want to take time for!) will make all of the difference in calming your body and alleviating anxiety/stress! Do this as often as needed 🙂 but the key first, is becoming more aware of your breathing! Tune into yourself, your body, and your breath often to notice when you’re starting to escalate!

2. GET OUT(SIDE)!

This piece is twofold: first, get OUT of the environment that you’re in where you’re experiencing the anxiety – even if only for a few minutes. Leaving the space you’re in for new surroundings interrupts the cycle of anxiety you’re spiraling in inside your mind!

(&& if someONE is triggering your anxiety (I’m lookin’ at you LINDA), remove yourself from their presence ASAP!)

OPTIMALLY – get yourself outside! The fresh air and natural sunlight, open space to breathe, and the Earth under you is the BEST combination of healing and grounding. Grounding for humans is the same general concept as grounding with electricity…it helps to take the energy from your body and bring it down through your energy body and disperse it into the Earth.

Anxiety is energy in the body that is dying to be expressed, so grounding is one super powerful way to help to regulate and disperse the anxious energy through and out of your body! Here’s a quick and simple grounding exercise:

  1. Optional first step…choose one or two crystals that are good for grounding and hold in your hand(s). (Crystals good for grounding are: agate, bloodstone, citrine, jasper or smokey quartz)
  2. Stand with your bare feet on the floor or ground (best if done outside if possible!)
  3. Close your eyes and visualize toxic or anxious energy flowing down through/off your body towards your feet and into the Earth
  4. Do this for 5 or so minutes, or until you feel lighter!

3. MOVE YO BODY!

BECAUSE As I just shared, anxiety is ENERGY dying to be expressed…express that shit! Moving your body is how to break up and move around that energy that gets stuck. Anxiety energy stays up in the higher chakras (ie: up in yo head) and using movement & exercise to bring that DOWN is so powerful!

You may be reading this thinking “bitch I don’t have TIME to werkout right now…” and I feel you! Or maybe you’re in a place in the day where you cant stop, drop, and weightlift (or Zumba, or run, or whatever version of exercise brings your cute butt joy!)

BUT you can find FIVE MINUTES to go for a walk. Walk in circles around your house, or your office building if you can’t actually GO anywhere! (See how that pairs this one with getting outside into nature, too! #winwin) just MOVE yourself in some way. Sitting stagnant will only prolong the anxiety you’re feeling, allowing it to ramp up until you completely lose your shit.

4. DECLUTTER YO SHIT, GIRL

Picture your room/home/car/office at its messiest. Totally unorganized, piles of papers, dirty laundry, dishes, an unmade bed, that stack of stuff that was supposed to go to Salvation Army 4 months ago still sitting there. Things to return long missing receipts just chillin’ in the trunk of your car – how do you FEEL when things look/are like this?

For 95% of us, the answer is not good. Chaos, disorder, clutter, and things hanging around that need to go BREED anxiety! As does procrastination (the longer you put something off, the worst that you feel!), so when you put those two together it’s the perfect recipe for mental anxiety stew.

When you’re short on time, just pick ONE thing! One space, one countertop, one area to take 10-15 minutes cleaning up that will help bring you peace. You may be thinking that you don’t have the time to spend on doing so because there’s “so much else” – heard, girl, but that’s just a bullshit story you’re telling yourself! In actuality, by taking the time to clean the space you’re spending your time in you’ll actually SAVE time because you’ll be feeling clearer, less anxiety, and more grounded so you’ll be more productive!

And if you’re an “all or nothing” girl (like yours truly! Stay tuned for the next blog topic allllll about this next Tuesday!) and you’re thinking, even subconsciously “if I start then I’m going to have to do it ALL” – this is your permission slip to just do ONE THING and not make it so big for yourself! Anxiety flourishes in the “too big” space, where the massive “what if’s” that feel paralyzing live, when we spiral out of the present and into the hugeness we let ourselves fall into.

Just pick ONE THING – seriously. I promise it’s okay, and the pressure you’re feeling to do it all is only coming from YOU! So cut yourself some slack, send yourself some love, and give yourself what you need.

5. SPEAK IT, BOO!

The longer something lives in your head, the bigger and bigger it’ll get. And before you know it, something that started small (maybe even without your knowledge) grows into a tornado that’s taking over your mind & body.

Anxiety LOVES to lie to you, and the best way to combat that is to speak what’s on your mind and your heart and get it OUT before it can get bigger and send you over the edge. Find someone you trust and feel comfortable with, or if that isn’t an option in the moment, write that shit down (journaling is SO POWERFUL! More on that to come soon as well…). The key is to get it OUT so it stops having control over you!


I have SO MANY more, but for the sake of time (this is already super long!) I’m going to stop here! I hope this was helpful for you, boo! Anxiety is a bitch, but YOU’RE STRONGER!

If you’re tired of techniques, and are ready to TRULY take control over your anxiety, rip it out at the roots, and get it OUT OF YOUR LIFE, I invite you to join me to “Make Anxiety Your Bitch”!

This 12-Week group coaching program is designed for the woman who is ready to get into the drivers seat of her life, take control over her anxiety, and truly HEAL from the inside out! I know you’re tired of living in reactive mode, of constantly feeling like your anxiety is winning and you’re grasping at straws just to get through the day.

That’s why I created this program! Anxiety is my specialty, and it’s my mission and my passion to help women find & step into their inner power, and truly heal and transform their lives to live without anxiety calling the shots!

You can check out the full details here – we start Monday 9/9 and I would LOVE to have you there! Don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions.

So much love to you on your journey!

XOXO ❤ Stephanie Lora

Monthly New Moon Ritual

New Moons are a perfect time to set your intentions for the coming weeks and to design your life!

How do you want to feel? What you would like to manifest or call into your life? It’s a time of creation and allowance!

The energy of the new moon aids us in ridding our minds and bodies of toxic thought patterns (buhbye limiting beliefs!) as well as eliminating toxic substances (alcohol, processed foods, caffeine & tobacco, etc). Starting a new project, or discipline, is often substantially less difficult to stick to when started during the New Moon! (Wanting to start a new workout program? Have a program you want to launch? These kinds of things are PERFECT for a new moon energy!)

Establishing a ritual for setting these intentions is so powerful, and it’s important to come up with one that feels good and has meaning for you, instead of trying to follow any set guidelines!

Below, I’ve shared what I do for my practice as a place for you to start, but be sure to follow your intuition and feel free to make it your own! I find that even month to month I’ll shift into what feels right and it may not look the same each time 

New Moon Ritual

1) Gather Your Supplies:

Follow your intuition here! I will collect what crystals feel right for whatever my intention is or what I feel called to (tip: citrine is powerful for intention setting!), always have sage or palo santo and a box of matches with me for clearing, a journal & pen for reflection, a candle (or a few!). You can also have fresh herbs, feathers, anything from nature that may call to you. There are no set rules. I often find I focus better with music and will put on my favorite meditative Pandora station (based on the band Deuter).

2) Cleanse/Prepare Yourself & Your Space:

Prior to a New Moon Ritual, it is a very powerful practice to cleanse yourself! This can be done by taking a bath or shower, incorporating salts, or essential oils, and a water based meditation while you’re in the bath/shower. I dry body brush beforehand as well to cleanse my skin and release toxins while stimulating my circulation and preparing my body for water based cleansing!

After cleansing with water, you’ll want to clear yourself/your space with sage or palo santo. Remember, it’s the smoke that you need for cleansing, not the flame. You can do your ritual inside or out, outside of course brings that extra connection to nature but if that’s not available or comfortable for you, inside is fine – just be sure to cleanse your space!

3) Grounding:

This is something that’s important anytime for staying connected to the rejuvenating and healing earth energy. Some signs that you may not be well grounded are feelings of mania, nervousness, anxiety, racing thoughts and the like. Too often we forget to feel the earth under our feet! This tree grounding exercise is one of my own favorite rituals: in a nutshell, it’s sitting comfortably with your spine straight or standing feet hip width apart, visualizing the roots leaving your body at your root chakra going down into the Earth, through the layers, into the core, and then drawing that energy back up through your base or feet again. Feel and envision the energy moving through each chakra, coming out the top of your head and flowing down around you!

4) Set Your Intentions:

After you’ve cleared a sacred space and settled your energy, you’re ready to set your intentions. Break out your journal and make a list of what you’d like to call into your life, and dream big! The New Moon is a moment to conjure what may right now feel out of reach, but creating the vision is the first step to making it a reality. But these are not just words on paper! As you write them down as intentions, you are committing to doing your part to make them real. Some call it co-creating, since you’re opening to universal energies to set dreams in motion.

Meditate on and visualize the things you’re calling in, the intentions you’re setting. Big and small! (Nothing is small, however, as even a tiny shift in intention can and will have huge repercussions in your life as they magnify!) Focus on the FEELING you want to have, in life and when you receive these things!

5) Keep Them Alive:

A big part of success with new Moon intentions is what comes AFTER. Find ways to keep them in the front of your awareness. Put them in a visible spot, or keep them in your wallet. Meditate every day, visualizing already having and feeling the things you’re calling in! Make notes in your journal about your progress. At the Full Moon, find ways to take action on those intentions, and celebrate any signs of change! 

Do you have a ritual you do for the new moon? Never tried one before? Have questions? I’d love to hear your feedback! Feel free to leave a comment below, and subscribe if you feel led!

Happy New Moon Intention Setting! 

XOXO ❤ Stephanie

PS: Wanting to take control of your anxiety YESTERDAY because you’re sick and tired of it running the friggin’ show!? I’m so excited to announce the “Make Anxiety Your Bitch INTENSIVE” starting July 15th! This is a short, crash course in taking control of your anxiety & getting yourself into the drivers seat of your life!

Two weeks, daily trainings and teachings that you’ll have access to forever, 1:1 support via Voxer, a group call each week, AND a VIP option for additional 1:1 support! Contact me for more details. Early Bird pricing & bonuses only available thru 7/7!

Stepping Stones

This one time, way back in college, someone who meant well told me that I was a “stepping stone” for the men I had been in relationships with. 🤨

After expressing that I was lonely, and tired of giving so much of myself just to be left feeling deflated and used, the following conversation ensued: 

“You attract men who need healing in some way, and they get that and work through their shit being with you, but they’re not meant to be with you – you’re like the stepping stone for them to become better, before they move onto another relationship.” 

Now…this person MEANT well. As I understand it they were trying to say that I was a good soul, a powerful healer, and was attracting people that just weren’t meant for me. But seeing as how it’s been about ten years and I STILL remember the phrase “stepping stone” and how I felt after that conversation, I clearly integrated that in a negative way. 

Well, shit. 😳

I’m a recovering people-pleaser…I spent MOST of my life (even still fighting the tendency at times now) doing what I thought I SHOULD do, putting everyone & their mother before myself, and letting people walk all over me – suppressing myself over, and over, and over again. 

Can you relate at all? 🤔

Since nothing happens in a vacuum, this of course also translated into my relationships. BUT what went down in each of those scenarios wasn’t solely on the other person – it was also on ME not realizing until much later that I ALLOWED everything that transpired to happen!

🙅🏻‍♀️I ALLOWED myself to be in situations where I gave my power away, time and time again

🙅🏻‍♀️I ALLOWED myself to be made to feel unloved, used, taken advantage of

🙅🏻‍♀️I ALLOWED myself to give and give and give, to feel as though I had to sustain these relationships based on MY effort, MY input, MY energy alone – and then feel as if I had nothing left

🙅🏻‍♀️I ALLOWED myself to be strung along, to go back time and again, instead of simply letting go

🙅🏻‍♀️I ALLOWED myself to ignore what I wanted and needed, and instead throw myself into being & doing what I thought everyone ELSE wanted and needed

…because isn’t that how people stay in your life? Isn’t that how people love you? 😳🤨🙈

Nope, girl. Not even a little. ✋

The thing is…no one asked me to do those things. But people will respond and react to how YOU show up, the energy you bring in, the boundaries you do or don’t set, and act accordingly. 

👆👆 READ THAT AGAIN 👆👆

I settled for, and allowed myself to accept, FAR less than I deserved. And because I set the bar so low, that set the stage for how many people in my life would then show up. 

I had ZERO love and respect for myself – and gave my power away, time after time. And I have a HUGE heart, and a healer’s touch…which all wrapped up together ended as a shitstorm of loneliness, hurt, emptiness, bad situations, and constantly convincing myself that I wasn’t enough. 

🖤So how do you break the cycle of people pleasing? 

🖤How do you find the relationship that you’re craving, praying for, searching for? 

🖤How do you stop feeling like a stepping stone for the people in your life? 

By falling in love with yourself 👉 realizing your worth 👉 PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST in your own life 👉 and stepping into your power! 

A “simple” list, in that it’s easy to write out and say. But I completely understand that it feels like a bitch to actually put into practice! Which leads to avoiding the personal work, pretending like it’ll all work out, throwing blinders up and keep on keepin’ on just hoping things will change on their own…

But the truth is boo, you will never have the life, relationships, experiences, feelings that you want without investing in, and falling in love with, YOU FIRST! 

Is looking at your own shit uncomfortable? Yup. It took me a LONG FUCKING TIME to truly look at and admit where I had allowed myself to be treated as, to accept, less than I deserved.  To see where I kept running back to things that weren’t working at the smallest opening. To own my own actions, and dig into where they came from. 

To realize that my fears of abandonment, of being unlovable, of being alone, of not being good enough, were a subconscious perfect storm that would enable me to keep fucking up my life over and over until I untangled it and healed. 

I had to take control, but knew I wasn’t in a place where I could do it alone. I invested in myself, I found someone to walk through my shadow work with me, and help me come out on the other side fully knowing and loving myself so that I could transform my life from what it was, to one that I truly desired! Where I was THRIVING instead of just surviving!

It has been the most precious gift, turning pain, fear, and shrinking into beauty, love, and abundance!

I then honed in on my gifts and learned how to help other women through their shadow work and their own incredible transformations! I’m so blessed to spend every day now with this as my life and business – teaching you how to step into your POWER and take control over your life, finally after long last having what you desire (because you do deserve it!), and truly feeling JOY every single day!

If you’re not happy with where you are, if you find yourself in the same patterns/situations over and over, if you’re not sure what you need but just KNOW you need a change…let’s talk! I’d truly love to work with you, to help you get your shit together, get clear, go deep and call in your transformation into your most POWERFUL self! 

She’s in there, just waiting for you to step into her and OWN your truth! 

Your beautiful future, your dream life, your incredible relationship, your soul’s calling is out there just waiting for you…so what are YOU waiting for? 

Reach out anytime, I’m just a message away 🖤

XOXO Stephanie 

PS: The Joy Seekers Collective kicks off MONDAY 4/22!

Growth and healing can be difficult, painful…been there! But what I’ve learned is that it IS possible to experience JOY and PASSION in the pursuit of your own expansion 💃🏻🌈💁🏻‍♀️ 

That you can find your light amid the discomfort, that you can stand in your power even when you’re feeling like a mess!✨

If you’re looking for accountability, connection to kindred spirits and soul sisters, & to call more joy into your life – look no further! It’s time to make yourself a priority, to invest in your happiness! Contact me for more details ❤ I’d love to chat with you about if this space is right for you!

New Moon Intention Setting

Tomorrow night (3/6) is the March New Moon! 🌑

New Moons are a perfect time to set your intentions for the next month: how you want to feel, what you would like to manifest or call into your life. It’s a time of creation and allowance! The energy of the new moon aids us in ridding our minds and bodies of toxic thought patterns as well as eliminating toxic substances (alcohol, processed foods, caffeine & tobacco, etc). Starting a new project, or discipline, is often substantially less difficult to stick to when started during the New Moon 🌚

Establishing a ritual for setting these intentions is so powerful, and it’s important to come up with one that feels good and has meaning for you, instead of trying to follow any set guidelines!

Below, I’ve shared what I do for my practice as a place for you to start, but as always follow your intuition and feel free to make it your own! I find that even month to month I’ll shift into what feels right and it may not look the same each time 💜

New Moon Ritual

1) Gather Your Supplies:

Follow your intuition here! I will collect what crystals feel right for whatever my intention is or what I feel called to (tip: citrine is powerful for intention setting!), always have sage or palo santo and a box of matches with me for clearing, a journal & pen for reflection, a candle (or a few!). You can also have fresh herbs, feathers, anything from nature that may call to you. There are no set rules. I often find I focus better with music and will put on my favorite meditative Pandora station (based on the band Deuter).

2) Cleanse/Prepare Yourself & Your Space:

Prior to a New Moon Ritual, it is a very powerful practice to cleanse yourself! This can be done by taking a bath or shower, incorporating salts, or essential oils, and a water based meditation while you’re in the bath/shower. I dry body brush beforehand as well to cleanse my skin and release toxins while stimulating my circulation and preparing my body for water based cleansing!

After cleansing with water, you’ll want to clear yourself/your space with sage or palo santo. Remember, it’s the smoke that you need for cleansing, not the flame. You can do your ritual inside or out, outside of course brings that extra connection to nature but if that’s not available or comfortable for you, inside is fine – just be sure to cleanse your space!

3) Grounding:

This is something that’s important anytime for staying connected to the rejuvenating and healing earth energy. Some signs that you may not be well grounded are feelings of mania, nervousness, anxiety, racing thoughts and the like. Too often we forget to feel the earth under our feet! This tree grounding exercise is one of my own favorite rituals: in a nutshell, it’s sitting comfortably with your spine straight or standing feet hip width apart, visualizing the roots leaving your body at your root chakra going down into the Earth, through the layers, into the core, and then drawing that energy back up through your base or feet again. Feel and envision the energy moving through each chakra, coming out the top of your head and flowing down around you!

4) Set Your Intentions:

After you’ve cleared a sacred space and settled your energy, you’re ready to set your intentions. Break out your journal and make a list of what you’d like to call into your life, and dream big! The New Moon is a moment to conjure what may right now feel out of reach, but creating the vision is the first step to making it a reality. But these are not just words on paper! As you write them down as intentions, you are committing to doing your part to make them real. Some call it co-creating, since you’re opening to universal energies to set dreams in motion.

Meditate on and visualize the things you’re calling in, the intentions you’re setting. Big and small! (Nothing is small, however, as even a tiny shift in intention can and will have huge repercussions in your life as they magnify!) Focus on the FEELING you want to have, in life and when you receive these things!

5) Keep Them Alive:

A big part of success with new Moon intentions is what comes AFTER. Find ways to keep them in the front of your awareness. Put them in a visible spot, or keep them in your wallet. Meditate every day, visualizing already having and feeling the things you’re calling in! Make notes in your journal about your progress. At the Full Moon, find ways to take action on those intentions, and celebrate any signs of change

Do you have a ritual you do for the new moon? Never tried one before? Have questions? I’d love to hear your feedback! Feel free to leave a comment below, and subscribe if you feel led!

Happy New Moon Intention Setting! 💜🌑

XOXO 💜 Stephanie

Ps: If you haven’t seen yet, “From Coping to Control” kicks off on Monday! This FREE 5-Day Mini Course I’m hosting from March 11-16 is all about stepping into your power to take the first, or next, steps towards gaining control over your anxiety! I’d love to have you join me, click here to check out the details & sign up!

Meditation: 5 Tips to Start/Boost your Practice!

Is meditating something that you’ve wanted to incorporate into your routine, but it just doesn’t feel like something ‘you can do’? Maybe you struggle staying focused, or figuring out exactly how to do it ‘right’, so you get frustrated. Maybe you’ve even given up completely…

First off boo, there is no ‘right’ way to meditate, I promise! && please don’t go making yourself feel bad if you struggle to focus, feeling like you have to sit still with an empty mind for long periods of time right off the bat…

NOBODY starts off at that point…even monks had to start somewhere, and were not at super still & silent for hours long status for a long time after they started their practice. It’s called a PRACTICE for a reason! Because you get better with it 😉

This is a practice worth getting into, no matter who you are, because it comes with SO many benefits & can drastically improve your life!

  • Less stress & anxiety
  • Slows aging
  • Lowers cortisol levels
  • Improves concentration
  • Lower blood pressure & improved circulation
  • Lower heart rate & slower respiratory rate
  • Increases happiness & self-awareness
  • Is a way to connect to your intuition & higher self

…to name a few!

If you struggle getting into meditation here are five simple tips to start off your practice:

1)Start small! 3-5 minutes (or less). You may think that sounds super short and what good could it possibly do you…but honestly, you’ve gotta start somewhere! && trust me, when you’re just starting out 3 minutes can feel like a hella long time :p.  If the idea of minutes isn’t appealing to you, start by simply paying attention to the sensation of taking ten deep, slow breaths and notice how your body feels before, during, and after doing so!

2) Get educated! Understand what meditation can do for your stress/anxiety/irritability/overthinking/anger levels – the more knowledge you have, the more you’ll WANT to work to develop a practice to take control over those feelings that might right now feel like they control you, and meditation is a way to do just that!

3) Understand the principles of meditation! The goal does not have to be to get to the point that you can focus without becoming distracted (though that is often a by-product). Most people don’t see the value in that, and therefore won’t pursue to practice. Instead, shift your focus to using meditation as a way of becoming more aware of yourself, your thoughts & your feelings. Our thoughts are the center of our reality – by using meditation to spend time inside your mind, hearing and feeling the things that float through your brain, you become more in tune with your thoughts and more aware of yourself! Being aware of our thoughts help us to catch ourselves in the day to day from falling into a negative spiral, which then often fuels anxiety, stress &/or depression. See the long term possibilities here…

4) Do it YOUR way! Don’t feel like you have to follow someone else’s meditation plan, or that if you’re not doing it the “traditional” way, you’re doing it wrong. NOPE. Do what feels right for you! If you struggle sitting still then start out going for a walk, a hike, a run, or dance. Notice the feeling of how your body moves. Your thoughts. Your breathing. The sensation of the air on your skin. What you can hear & see. Becoming more AWARE is the point, and it doesn’t matter how you get there ❤

5) Scrap that “all or nothing” mentality. Nowwwwww. As I’ve said multiple times already – there is no RIGHT or WRONG way! There is no reason you can’t find a way to incorporate meditation into your life just because the “traditional” way doesn’t sit well with you starting out. Maybe it never will…no biggie. Because this is about YOU!

Personally, I can’t meditate in silence because I need something to focus on! My 3 go-to’s for resources are my favorite Pandora station based on the band “Deuter”, or the free apps “Insight Timer” or “Calm”!

Another favorite of mine is when Deepak Chopra & Oprah team up and offer Free 21-Day Meditation series! They have one coming up starting March 23rd, if you’re interested you can check that out/sign up here!

Have a practice you’ve developed & have any tips to share? Favorite meditation resources? Have questions? Drop a comment below, I’d love to hear from you!

XOXO ❤ Stephanie

PS: Meditation is just one of the many topics we’ll be talking about in “From Coping to Control”, a FREE 5-Day Mini Course I’m hosting from March 11-16 all about stepping into your power to take the first, or next, steps towards gaining control over your anxiety! I’d love to have you join us, click here to check out the details & sign up!

Empaths 101!

I think that from time to time, a little PSA about empaths is a good thing! 😉 There are soooooo many of us out there, and not everyone totally understands what it means or how it can feel to be one 🤷🏻‍♀️ YOU might even not know that you are one! Either way, I challenge you to read on…

Empaths are, to put it bluntly, emotional sponges. We absorb both the stress and joy of the world. We feel EVERYTHING – often to an extreme – and have little guard up between others and ourselves (until we learn how to!). But as a result of that, we are often overwhelmed by excessive stimulation and are prone to exhaustion and sensory overload! Which can make you feel crazy sometimes…I feel you, boo, been there! 😳💁🏻‍♀️

Empaths have an extremely reactive neurological system, and don’t have the same filters as non-empaths to block out stimulation. 🤚This is why we absorb into ourselves the positive and negative energies around us! An interesting way to think about it is our sensitivity level is like holding something in a hand that has 50 fingers instead of 5 – we are super responders! 💁🏻‍♀️

Everyone has a subtle energy field surrounding their body, a soft radiant light that penetrates and extends beyond our bodies a distance of inches or even feet (everyone is different!). 💫

👆These fields are where emotional and physical well-being or distress are projected. As empaths, this is what we can feel/absorb from other people! When our energy fields overlap, we pick up what other people are putting off. This is where you will pick up emotions or feelings that are not your own and begin to feel them in your own mind and body. What so many empaths are missing is the ability to identify what’s ‘us’ verses what’s ‘them’ in our bodies, and how to manage that!

💫Have you ever been labeled as ‘overly sensitive’?
💫Been told to ‘man/woman up’ or ‘get a thicker skin’?
💫Ever been shamed for your sensitivities rather than supported?
💫Experience exhaustion and want to retreat from the world because it feels so overwhelming?

With experiencing so much negativity between responses from other people, and our own physical feeling of the world, it’s common for Empaths to want to reject their gift! Because if you don’t understand what’s going on, and don’t know how to ground and protect yourself, it truly can be a negative experience! I’m making it my mission to change that 🌺

Many people don’t know my story specifically, so long story short: my extremely strong empathic gift (that I didn’t know for so long that I had) led me to be diagnosed with a pretty significant mental health label – this happens so often!

We live in a world where people want to label and diagnose based on a system THEY have learned and understand, rather than look for other reasons behind the ‘symptoms’ and behaviors. Not one counselor in all my years of trying to get a handle on what was happening in my mind and body ever even approached a subject close to this. And it’s not their fault, that’s just not how our society works! Luckily, I found this path and this knowledge on my own and have been able to ‘heal’ myself (really just get a handle on my abilities and what comes with them!) by learning how to protect myself and understand myself and what is different about me!

I refer to being an Empath as having a GIFT, and I truly believe that to be true! Ten years ago, I wouldn’t have agreed – because I had no awareness! No support, no knowledge of this world, or myself, or how to navigate it. 🚫

Do you identify with some or all of what I shared above as the definition of being an Empath? I’d love to hear your story! What has your experience been? 🤔💜

Our stories are all different – no two empaths are the same! We share many similarities in our gifts, yes, but since every human is different, no one will experience things in the exact same way. && that’s okay!

You have a superpower, girlfriend! If you’re struggling right now, or have in the past just remember – even superheroes have to learn how to manage their powers and gifts, just think of yourself as a superhero in training! 💜💁🏻‍♀️😁

I’d love to hear your story, please feel free to share in the comments below, or message me directly through the “contact me” page above! And if you enjoyed this, remember to subscribe! 💜😉

I’ve Got Control Issues…

I’ve got control issues 😳🙅🏻‍♀️

For those of you who know me, this statement does NOT come as a surprise…I know. 😂 I can laugh about it now, but earlier on in my life it became a huge problem.

I never really had the best relationship with food, through all of my own doing.  We had healthy balanced meals growing up, a trend I’ve integrated into my now adult life, which has helped me so much in my journey to get healthier! 🥦💁🏻‍♀️

But, once I left home at 18 and could start to make my own food and was in charge of my own nutrition…I crashed and burned.  I KNEW how to be healthy, but food was also my coping mechanism for everything: stress, strong emotions, avoidance, boredom, being social, etc.

Worse, though, food also became the thing I fixated on that I could control when everything in my life starting spinning out of control and falling apart…

One thing lead to another and that need for control spiraled into an eating disorder – for longer than I care to think about during college, I struggled with bulimia.  I couldn’t NOT eat, it was a compulsion, and I wanted the foods that made me HAPPY in the moment, but then after I would panic and HATE MYSELF with a gnawing, terrible, burning passion (that went just so much deeper than food related, but I didn’t know it then) and unfortunately turned to an unhealthy response to “feel better”…and then all of a sudden I felt it. Hot damn, I had control.  I could eat what I want AND not feel terrible!? What!? YES PLEASE.

Quickly, however, it consumed me. I was so desperate to feel in control that I leapt at the first tickle of it. I became obsessed with food, what I would eat and when, how to hide it so no one would know what I was doing because “they just wouldn’t understand”. I was in control, I GOT THIS, I was totally fine…

…except, obviously, I wasn’t 🤦🏻‍♀️

Longer than I care to admit into this sickness, the feelings/issues that had pushed me to that edge had finally gotten too unmanageable. Even my “control” over food and my body couldn’t mask what was really going on.  So, I finally went against everything in me and reached out for some help.

I spent so long crawling uphill desperate to find a healthier space…even when I had the bulimia under control, I still struggled with emotional eating (and still do off and on to this day…I’m a work in progress, and love myself through the struggle!).  

I can say confidently these days that I am 100% in a healthier place! I have a healthy relationship with food because I learned to master my MINDSET and my THOUGHTS about food, but also the thoughts and feelings that were behind it all about myself. You hear me say all the time “our thoughts create our reality” – because our thoughts REALLY ARE that powerful!

Having a healthy relationship with food doesn’t mean jumping from diet to diet. I’ll flat out tell you “I don’t diet” and I MEAN it…because that doesn’t work for me.  To be honest, diets don’t work for many many people! Super restrictive things not only make me feel frustrated, upset and deprived, but any sort of “diet” I take to an extreme out of control, and then sabotage myself on PURPOSE so I won’t go down any road that looks like the one I walked down so many years ago. All around, just not healthy. 🙅🏻‍♀️

After years and years, gaining weight and losing weight and no matter what I did feeling ungodly unhealthy, I’ve finally found a healthy way to think about food, and I’ll never look back 🙂

It’s about learning what works for YOU and YOUR BODY! No one’s ideal foods will look the same, because everyone is different – so why on earth would one diet, one set of foods, one example work for everyone!? It just doesn’t.

If you’re struggling, with an eating disorder, or food or nutrition or your self-image or anything in there, don’t wait one more day to reach out to SOMEONE for help. It doesn’t have to be the way that it’s become…I swear. Please know, even if we don’t talk, even if we’ve never spoken, I love you and want to help you…I am always available to talk, never hesitate to reach out 💜

Full Moon Ritual

For today’s full moon I wanted to share the releasing ritual I tend to use the most! It’s simple, but effective 💜

A little background for those who aren’t very familiar with the moon’s energy & what it can do…

At the Full Moon, the energy is powerful and intense. This surge enables you to take action – especially in regards to the New Moon intentions you may have made two weeks prior (see my other blog posts for a New Moon Ritual as well!). This full moon is a perfect time for releasing something that no longer serves you, letting go of something that you no longer need in your life, or an opportunity to let go of an aspect of yourself that you have outgrown!

A Full Moon ritual is a powerful way to invoke this: (For those wondering what a ritual is, it can be described as a set of actions, often with symbolic value, performed in a ceremonial manner)
💫Releasing.
💫Letting go.
💫Unburdening yourself.
💫Purging.

You get rid of the old, celebrating your emergence by stepping out of an old way of being/an old identity/behavior/attitude/relationship/frame of mind/situation 💜

The ritual marks this inner transformation in a formal, ceremonial way! Emphasizing to yourself and the Universe that you are ready to let go for the new you to emerge, and making way for new magical opportunities to come to you.

You will use the elements (whichever you feel most called to) to cleanse after your ceremony:

🔥 Fire – consumes, burns away the old
💦 Water – cleanses, washes away
🌱Earth – absorbs & cleanses

FULL MOON RELEASING RITUAL

What you need: pen, paper, matches/lighter, candle, two small bowls, sage/Pali santo, whatever crystals you feel called to (if any), water

If possible, do this outside under the Full Moon, connecting directly with Mother Nature and the Moon’s energies. (If you cannot be outside, find a quiet place indoors).

Create a sacred space. Find a quiet place to sit, declutter and clean, place crystals or other special items around you as you feel led. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to go about this! It’s all what feels good to you 🙏

Clear your energy. Imagine standing under a silver waterfall and allow all negative and non-serving energies to be washed away. Use sage or palo santo as well to clear yourself and the energy of your space!

Light the candle, fill one small bowl with water – place both in front of you, along with the other empty bowl.

Take a few deep breaths – center yourself. It can be very helpful to meditate for a while before beginning to write, but if you already know what you want to release then jump right in!  Write on the piece of paper what you wish to release from your life, what limiting beliefs you want to be free from, what no longer serves you or what you want to let go of. Not sure what you need to let go of? This is where meditation plays a key part: ask your higher self, your guides, the Universe, God, what needs to be let go of and leave yourself open to what will come to mind! If you work with oracle cards, do a reading for yourself and see what comes up. Trust your intuition (your gut feelings!) without judging them.

When you have finished your list, sign and date the page. Breathe deep into your heart and declare “I now let this go. And it is so.” Then, when you’re ready, place one corner of the piece of paper over the candle allowing the flame to light your page (put the page into the empty bowl as it burns) watching the flames consume what you are releasing, the smoke taking your intention to the Universe.

Then place your hands in the bowl of water. Signifying cleansing of the old and opening to the new.

Remove your hands from the water and take a deep breath. Sit in silence for a moment. You may want to keep your candle burning for a while as you sit, and be open to what comes to you!

The ashes of the paper then need to be released & cleansed: either washed out with water, blown outside into the air, or buried in the ground. Each way they are cleansed and released and your limitations let go! Do which feels right to you, like I said there is no wrong way!

Remember, as with everything use your intuition to guide you! This is only a suggestion of a ritual. You may just want to sit with a lit candle and not burn your page. You may want to take a shower or jump into the ocean to cleanse yourself after. You may want to meditate on what to let go of rather than write it down.

Go with what works for you and what you feel comfortable with. It all comes down to INTENTION! As long as you stay centered in why you are doing things in a certain way, the results will follow as you intended them to 💜

New Moon Intention Setting Ritual

I almost forgot that today is the June New Moon! I wanted to share a New Moon Ritual for this month with you 🙏

I’ve found over the last year of incorporating New & Full Moon Rituals into my monthly routine have helped me make drastic shifts within my life! Lunar energy is particularly powerful, and the energy of the new moon invites us to call in new habits, intentions, focuses, and desires. It is a fresh start 💜

New Moons are a perfect time for calling in whatever intentions that you have for the next month: how you want to feel, what you would like to manifest. It’s a time of creation and allowance! The new Moon offers us its energy of intention, to rid ourselves of the negative habits in our life. The energy of the new moon aids us in ridding our minds and bodies of toxic thought patterns as well as eliminating toxic substances (alcohol, processed foods, caffeine & tobacco, etc). Starting a new project, or discipline, is often substantially less difficult to stick to when started during the New Moon 💁🏻‍♀️

It’s important to come up with a ritual that has meaning for you, instead of trying to follow any set guidelines 💜 I’ll be sharing what I do for my practice as a place to start, but as always follow your intuition and feel free to make it your own! I find that even month to month I’ll shift into what feels right and it may not look the same each time 🙂

We are, today, at the Gemini new moon. This is the point in the lunar cycle where our inner and outer worlds touch, where what has been hidden from view rises to meet the surface. A new piece of our self-discovery is landing!

This inner deep-dive sets the tone for the Sun’s move into Cancer on June 20. The Sun reaches the top of the sky with the June 21 summer solstice, but now is the time to allow the Moon to pull you into the cool, soothing chill of your own personal midnight. Allow yourself to melt a little 😌

🌕New Moon Ritual🌕

1) Gather Your Supplies:

Follow your intuition here! I will collect what crystals feel right for whatever my intention is or what I feel called to, always have sage or palo santo and a box of matches with me for clearing, a journal & pen for reflection, a candle (or a few!). You can also have fresh herbs, feathers, anything from nature that may call to you. There are no set rules 😀 I often find I focus better with music and will put on my favorite meditative Pandora station (based on the band Deuter).

2) Cleanse/Prepare Yourself & Your Space:

Prior to a New Moon Ritual, it is a very powerful practice to cleanse yourself! This can be done by taking a bath or shower, incorporating salts, or essential oils, and a water based meditation while you’re in the bath/shower. I dry body brush beforehand as well to cleanse and release toxins while stimulating my circulation and preparing my body for water based cleansing!

After cleansing with water, you’ll want to clear yourself/your space with sage or palo santo. Remember, it’s the smoke that you need for cleansing, not the flame. You can do your ritual inside or out, outside of course brings that extra connection to nature but if that’s not available or comfortable for you, inside is fine – just be sure to cleanse your space!

3) Grounding:

This is something that’s important anytime for staying connected to the rejuvenating and healing earth energy. Some signs that you may not be well grounded are feelings of mania, nervousness, anxiety, racing thoughts and the like. Too often we forget to feel the earth under our feet! This tree grounding exercise is one of my own favorite rituals: in a nutshell, it’s sitting comfortably with your spine straight or standing feet hip width apart, visualizing the roots leaving your body at your root chakra going down into the Earth, through the layers, into the core, and then drawing that energy back up through your base or feet again. Feel and envision the energy moving through each chakra, coming out the top of your head and flowing down around you!

4) Set Your Intentions:

After you’ve cleared a sacred space and settled your energy, you’re ready to set your intentions. Break out your journal and make a list of what you’d like to draw into your life, and dream big! The New Moon is a moment to conjure what may right New feel out of reach, but creating the vision is the first step to making it a reality. But these are not just words on paper. As you write them down as intentions, you are committing to doing your part to make them real. Some call it co-creating, since you’re opening to universal energies to set dreams in motion.

Meditate on and visualize the things you’re calling in, the intentions you’re setting. Big and small! (Nothing is small, however, as even a tiny shift in intention can and will have huge repercussions in your life as they magnify!) Focus on the FEELING you want to have, in life and when you receive these things!

5) Keep Them Alive:

A big part of success with new Moon intentions is what comes AFTER. Find ways to keep them in the front of your awareness. Put them in a visible spot, or keep them in your wallet. Meditate every day, visualizing already having and feeling the things you’re calling in! Make notes in your journal about your progress. At the Full Moon, find ways to take action on those intentions, and celebrate any signs of change ❤

Do you have a ritual you do for the new moon? Never tried one before? Have questions? I’d love to hear your feedback! Feel free to leave a comment below, and subscribe if you feel led!

Happy New Moon Intention Setting! 🌕💫

Learning to Love Your Body

You hear a lot about body positivity these days, and quotes like ‘love your body, it’s the only place you have to live’ and ‘love the skin you’re in’.

It IS hugely important to love your body! But I think for so many women (and men!!) we don’t quite know how to start if we haven’t had the best relationship with our body 🤔

It took me a long time to be comfortable and HAPPY with my body! And honestly, it’s still a work in progress for me. I still notice everything about myself some days: where rolls over, where straps cut into, where my face feels chubby…it’s like we’ve been conditioned to tear ourselves to pieces every time we look in the mirror! And honestly, we pretty much have 😕

It’s a journey, loving your body, and it’s not going to happen overnight! Wondering how to start loving yourself more? Here’s a few things to try!

1) Be PRESENT in your body!

What do I mean by this? When we’re uncomfortable in or judging our bodies, we often don’t spend time getting to know ourselves, feeling what it’s like to really BE in our bodies!

Start by focusing on your breathing – find a quiet place and focus on feeling your breath going in and out of your nostrils. Start to focus on the feelings in your body. Where is there pain? Where feels good? Start at your toes and visualize traveling up your body and stop to focus on each piece, from your toes to the top of your head! Notice each area, and pour LOVE into every limb, finger, and organ through your mind! Getting into a practice of doing this every day, even just taking a few minutes (we ALL have a few minutes each day!) will start to make such a difference! (My next blog post in a few days is going to be ALL about being more present – stay tuned!)

2) MEDITATE!

My new favorite meditation app (that’s FREE mind you!) that I have to share is called “Insight Timer” and it’s ahhhhhmazing! Meditation has so many benefits, including being the best way to learn to be IN your body! (If you’re new to meditation, the free app “1 Giant Mind” is another great resource to help you get started!) Learning to control and tune into your breathing also has so many health benefits – reduce anxiety, improve cardio health, elevate your mood, increase clarity and focus, promote digestion, reduce cravings, sleep better, and plenty more!

3. Shift Your Focus!

From the way your body LOOKS to you, to focusing on HEALTH and how you FEEL! When you focus on trying to make a change in your appearance, this often comes from a place of negativity (not being happy with something about yourself you want to change). But, when you focus on how you want to feel and your overall health, you find a deeper gratification and focus to stay on track with the positive changes you’re trying to make! Feed your body nourishing food so that you always feel your best, and remove the worries of disease and poor health. Exercise to relieve stress and anxiety, and to release endorphins and feel good!

4) Treat/Speak To Yourself the Way You Would Someone You Love! 

I stopped speaking to myself in a way that I wouldn’t speak to my future children, my mom, or my best friend! It’s powerful to recognize that the self-hatred is not only unproductive, but that it begins a spiral that takes you further and further away from the things that you want! Our subconscious mind hears the self-talk and responds to it in a similar way, so make sure your self-talk is loving, supportive, nurturing, and forgiving!!

This is where positive affirmations come in and make all the difference! Starting your day with positive “I AM” statements will help you shift your focus to positivity and love for yourself! An example of this may be “I am deserving and worthy of all good things, and accept myself unconditionally.” But create your own for what makes you happy and that you need to hear! It may take some time to believe it, but in time you will re-train your thought process to be more positive.

When a negative thought about yourself enters your head, take a deep breath, release it, and repeat your positive affirmation in its place!

5) Stay Positive & Be Grateful! 

Don’t waste time and emotions staring at pictures of perfect bodies and wishing to be one of them. If you need visual inspiration, find photos of you at your best, not someone else at their best.

Learn to release negative thoughts about your body and to focus on the good that it brings you every single day! Rather than fixating on not having lost that five pounds yet, or not fitting into that dress yet, make a daily list of your accomplishments and your gratitude. It’s all about flipping the switch!!

Just like in the rest of life, when we focus on what we don’t have or what we haven’t accomplished, we feel frustrated and ready to give up. Listing your achievements instead puts your focus on what is going right, which motivates you to do more!

I’d love to hear from you if you’re on your own self-love journey! What has been something that’s helped you ❤ or, if you’re new to all of this, what are you looking forward to trying!?

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You are amazing. You are unique. You are the only YOU there will ever be. Learn to love yourself, and the rest will follow!

❤ Stephanie Lora